caranfindel (caranfindel) wrote,
caranfindel
caranfindel

Initial reaction 15.20: Carry On

Before we get started, friends, I want to tell you two things.

1. When I got home late from work Thursday, The Husband and I had this conversation:

You look beat. Going to bed early tonight?

Do you have any idea what tonight is?

...

Oh, God. Do you have alcohol?

Yes I do.


2. When I got in the car Friday morning, Pandora immediately started playing “Carry On Wayward Son.”

So, Thursday night, I sat down with a glass of whiskey and waited for the end of the world.


THEN: Chuck loses. Jack is God. The Winchesters are finally free.

NOW: Friends, get ready for a whole lot of fan service in the next few minutes. It's like TPTB have been reading everything we say and giving us what we want.

As a song about "ordinary life" plays, Dean's retro alarm clock goes off at 8:00. He shuts it off and sits up so we can see he's wearing a henley shirt (fan service points: 1). As he stretches, he's greeted by Miracle the dog (fan service points: 2)! Who is apparently his dog and definitely not Sam's!


But it's okay because LOOK AT THEM.

Meanwhile, Sam is running (fan service points: 3) and enjoying the beautiful day. When he gets home, he cooks (fan service points: 4) the same dry scrambled eggs that Stevie made for Charlie. Dean wanders in, wearing the dead guy robe, just as two slices of toast pop out of the toaster. I am not giving the robe any points because I don't think it's anything we all publicly long for and get excited about when it comes up, but I am willing to consider any opposing arguments. Sam, wearing just a t-shirt (5 points), tells Dean "it's hot" and I say mmm, yes it is. Dean adorably burns his hands on the hot toast and then brushes his teeth. You know what, I think the robe deserves a point after all. We're up to 6.





And we're not even two minutes into the episode.

And then they JUST KEEP COMING because Sam walks in, exposing his tattoo (7) because he's SHIRTLESS (8), scrubbing at his WET HAIR (9) with a towel, and I curse The Husband for deciding to watch with me because it means it would be kind of awkward to rewind and watch this a few more times. There's not even any dialog I can pretend I didn't catch.




I was NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.

He pulls on the grey v-neck t-shirt of sex (10) and proceeds to carefully make his bed. Dean, meanwhile, kind of sloppily throws his bed together and calls it done. Domestic Winchesters for 11 fan service points, please. Part of me feels like Dean's messy room is OOC, considering how proud he was to have his own room in the first place. But then I have to consider the trunk of the Impala, especially when compared to the hyper-organized neatness of her trunk when Sam's all alone in Mystery Spot, and it feels right. (Why am I thinking about Sam being all alone in Mystery Spot? NO REASON, NO REASON AT ALL.)



Sam's hair in his face while he makes his bed? Yes, please (12 points).

Dean washes the breakfast dishes (13), sneaking some leftover (because they were nasty) eggs to Miracle and looking around to make sure Sam doesn't see, because obviously Sam's going to be the one who doesn't want the dog to get table scraps. Sam put on a plaid shirt earlier, but we see him in the laundry room back down to one v-neck t-shirt (thank you Jack). He's reading as his laundry tumbles in the dryer, and he has to kick the dryer once to stop it from making noise, which I guess is why he's in there babysitting it. I keep reading on Tumblr that people want "at least one laundry scene," as if that didn't exist in The Monster at the End of This Book, but here's your laundry scene, friends. You were right to want it; it is marvelous (14).



Just look at that collection of plaid shirts and tell me it doesn't make you happy.

Dean times himself assembling a gun, complete with plenty of hand closeups (15) and then sits in the library with Miracle, scratching his ears (Miracle's, not his own) and apparently looking for a case. Sam comes in and joins them. He hasn't found anything, but Dean gets a serious look on his face and says "I got something."




Spoiler alert: It is my heart.

Title card!

The Impala pulls to a stop and the guys get out, still with serious looks on their faces. Oddly, the episode title flashes on screen really quickly. Or maybe it's just me. "Sure you're ready for this?" says Sam. "Oh, I don't have a choice," answers Dean. "This is my destiny." And that is exactly how I felt about watching this episode, friends. Not ready, but no choice. The camera pans to show that the boys are at the 43rd Annual Akron Pie Fest. In Akron, Iowa? Just north of Sioux City? Five hour drive? Say hi to Jody and the girls while you're there? Probably not. Probably in Akron, Ohio, almost 16 hours away.

(NO ONE CARES. STOP IT.)

Give me a break. This might be the last time I ever get to calculate driving time.

Anyway. Just pies! Nothing serious! Whew, I was concerned for a second. Dean is emotional.

This is just so beautiful.

Are you crying?

What? No. You're crying, I'm not.



No one is crying. There is no reason for ANYONE to cry.

Sam sits on a bench and watches happy pie eating families (sob). Dean returns with a giant box with six slices of pie (16 points). He sits next to Sam, and they have this conversation:

What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm fine.

Nah, come on, I know that face. That's Sad!Sam face.

I'm not Sad!Sam. I just. I'm thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. If they could be here.

Yeah, I know, I think about them too. You know what, that pain's not gonna go away, right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is going to be for nothing.


Dean's right, Sam. Do not be sad. We will have no Sad!Sam tonight. Live your life, or else those sacrifices are wasted. (ahem.) Sam responds by pushing a slice of pumpkin pie into Dean's face. "I've wanted to do that for a very long time," he laughs. "You're right, I do feel better!" Dean scraping the pie off his face and eating it is pretty adorable.







I'd pay good money to lick that off his face. And not just because I love pumpkin pie.

Not quite 6 minutes in and we're up to at least 16 guaranteed bits of pure fan service. Just sweet, domestic Winchester brothers living their lives. How long has this been going on? I've decided it's been at least a year since the last episode. Maybe longer. A good long time. Lots of time for them to enjoy their newfound freedom. But right now things are getting dark. Because it's nighttime, and because I think somebody's about to die.

A mom sends two young brothers upstairs for bathtime. They pause when the doorbell rings. No one seems to be there, but then the dad is stabbed by people wearing creepy masks. The boys run into their room and hide. From their room, we hear the mom scream, and then a thump. One of the masked guys comes into the room and, after a fake-out when we think they might be safe, drags the boys out from under the bed.

So, domestic life in the bunker and then a hunt? Wow. We're getting it all. What a great episode, full of the things we love.


Is this Becky Rosen's living room?

Daytime. Agents Kripke and Singer (ugh, really? Kripke is good, but how about honoring someone other than the current regime?) show up at the scene. They learn that the dad's blood was drained, the mom is alive but her tongue was ripped out (wow), and the kids were taken. The mom drew a picture of the masks they wore, which the brothers recognize.

In a lovely, picturesque spot, the guys flip through John's journal. And I didn't realize we hadn't seen the journal in a while, but Tumblr informs me many of us were exicted to see it again, so boom. 17 points.

You know what this is? Mimes. Evil mimes.

Yeah. Or vampires.

VampMIMES. Son of a bitch!


Dean comes up with a silly portmanteau name for a monster? That will be 18 points. Sam determines the vamps will be heading for Canton if they follow their pattern, and the victims are families who live on the outskirts of town with children between the ages of five and ten. Well, that couldn't be too difficult to narrow down in a city with a population of over 70,000.





I'll handwave it.

Night. Canton, I presume. Two masked vamps get out of a van. One of them gets decapitated by Dean. The other is shot in the leg, and then the head, by Sam. Well, he's a vampire, so of course it didn't kill him, but the bullet was soaked in dead man's blood. {Sidebar: "Soaked?" Dipped, maybe, but do you soak metal? Discuss.} They ask where the missing kids are, and the vamp is all, you're gonna let me go if I tell you? "No," Dean explains, adorably disappointed that the vamp isn't a mime after all. "This isn't a you walk out of here kind of situation. But see, if you tell us quick, you get this." He displays his bloody machete. "But if you take your time, you get, you get that." And "that" is a switchblade which Sam casually pops open right on cue.

Yeah, I'll take that. I'll take that itty bitty one.

It's a bad choice.

You see, this, this is quick. It's clean, you know? No muss, no fuss. You blink and you're dead.

But a blade this small, I'm gonna have to keep sawing and sawing to get your head off. And you'll feel it. Every muscle, tendon. Every inch. Could take hours.

Oh, and if those kids are dead? He's gonna use a spoon.


GUYS. I said it elsewhere and I'll say it here. I absolutely love when they remind us that Sam Winchester, that sweet boy with the huge heart and the endless supply of empathy and the puppy dog eyes, I love it when they remind us that he is a fucking psycho when he needs to be. I'm not going to give it a point, because I don't think it's anything we've asked for, but again I'm willing to hear all arguments. Especially if they come with detailed examples of Sam going psycho. Just for evidence, you know.




Just casually talkin' bout torturing you to death. No big.

The vampire wisely decides to reveal the location of the nest where the kids are being held. Next we see the Impala pulling up in front of some kind of barn. The guys open the trunk to get their gear out, and Dean pulls out a throwing star. "Come on. One time." Sam says no. There will be plenty of other times for Dean to use his throwing stars, I'm sure.

The guys enter the barn and find it apparently empty, although we see masked vamps peeking at them from outside. They find the kids locked in a closet, but four vampires appear before they can escape. They shoo the boys outside and shoot the vampires with their dead man's blood bullets from a safe distance. No, they don't. Why? I got no goddamn idea.

{Sidebar: At some point during this fight, I realized they hadn't played "Carry On Wayward Son" at the beginning. And that we got a regular montage, not a seasone finale extended montage.}

Sam gets knocked unconscious, and Dean loses his machete and then gets pinned by a couple of vamps. But they don't kill him; they just hold him down while an unmasked vampire strolls in. Dean recognizes her from season 1, and pretends not to notice Sam's now-conscious hand surreptitiously creeping toward his machete. Suddenly the vampire loses her head, because Sam is behind her, and the fight starts up again. Dean gets thrown into a wall right next to a big metal spike, which we focus on oddly. And then he gets thrown onto the spike. Oops. Sam kills the last of the vamps and doesn't notice Dean's predicament. He's all, cool, fight's over, let's go get those kids out of here. "Sam," Dean says, "I don't think I'm going anywhere."

Dean tells Sam there's something stuck in his back and it "feels like it's right through me." He keeps touching his chest as if he expects to feel it poking through. Sam reaches around to touch his back and his hand comes back bloody, and if that gives you All Hell Breaks Loose feels, there's a good reason. Sam tries to pull Dean off the spike, but Dean stops him. "It feels like this thing's holding me together right now." Sam's starting to panic and so am I. He wants to go get the first aid kid and call for help, but Dean stops him. And y'all, I'm just gonna have to type the whole thing out.

Sam, Sam. Stay with me. Please, stay with me, please.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Uh. Right. All right, listen to me. Um. You get those boys and you get them someplace safe, all right?

Dean? WE are gonna get them somewhere safe.

No. You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right? I mean, look at us. Saving people, hunting things, it's what we do.

Stop, Dean, just stop

It's okay. It's okay. it's good. It's good. We had one hell of a ride, man.

I will find away, okay? I will find another way.

No. No. No, no no no no. No bringing me back, okay? You know that always ends bad.

Dean, please.

I'm fading pretty quick, so, there's a few things I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam. You know that? I've always looked up to you. Remember when we were kids, you were so damn smart. You never took any of Dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you, that night that I came for you when you were in school? You know, when dad hadn't come back from his hunting trip?

Uh, the woman in white.

The woman in white, that's right. I must have stood outside your door for hours, cause I didn't know what you would say. I thought you'd tell me to get lost, or get dead. And I didn't know what I would have done if I didn't have you. Cause I was so scared. I was scared. Cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It's always been you and me.

Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone.

Yes you can.

Well, I don't want to.

Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you. Right here. Every day. Every day you're out there, and you're living, and you're fighting, cause you, you always keep fighting. You hear me? I'll be there, every step. I love you so much. My baby brother. Well, I did not think this would be the day. But it is, it is, and that's okay. I need you, I need you to promise me. I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me it's okay. Look at me. I need. I need. I need you to tell me it's okay. Tell me it's okay.

Dean. It's okay. You can go now.

Bye, Sam.


NO, IT IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY.

And of course I haven't described Sam's face as he understands what's happening, Dean's occasional spasms of pain, the handholding, the fucking FOREHEAD TOUCH, the tears, the way Dean's hand drops away, the way Sam's hands shake as he clutches his dead brother (hello, AHBL again).

Maybe we just need to watch it.











Gifs borrowed from jaredandjensen on Tumblr.

And there's also the Always Keep Fighting shoutout, the "I love you," Dean calling Sam his "baby brother," the "I can't do this alone/Yes you can/Well I don't want to" parallel with 1.01. Infinite points, friends. I can't count that high.

(Things not to think about: Sam putting Dean's body in the back seat, and then putting the two young brothers in the front and driving them to safety. Sam driving 15 hours back to Lebanon with his brother's body. Do not think about these things.)

Aftermath. Sam and Miracle, and no one else, are giving Dean a hunter's funeral. And I know Covid means Sam couldn't have any friends there, but also? This is kind of perfect. Sam facing it alone. The song we hear as Sam lights his brother's pyre is "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits, in case you're not emotionally wrecked yet.





Yeah, I'm already there, thanks anyway.

Next we see Sam's slightly more modern alarm going off at 8:00. Note that Sam gets up later now, because at the beginning of the episode, he had already gone for a run and was cooking breakfast when Dean woke at 8:00. But now there's no one to cook for so he doesn't need to get back early and I AM NOT OKAY.

ANYWAY.

Sam gets up and faces his lonely day. He cooks eggs. One piece of toast pops up. He sits in the library with Miracle and looks at the names carved into the table. He wanders the halls with his dog at his side. (SAM HAVING A DOG WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM HAPPY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE US HAPPY. HOW DARE YOU.)

{Sidebar: Has Sam ever had a dog when he wasn't at a low point in his already-low life? Discuss.}

Eventually he finds himself at the door to Dean's room. The room is just as Dean left it, kind of messy, kind of very full of Dean. He sits on Dean's bed and pets the dog and cries and it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that I am ROLLING AROUND IN ALL OF THIS BEAUTIFUL PAIN.








No one at all.

He hears a phone buzzing in Dean's desk. He digs out the one labeled "Dean's other other phone" and answers. The caller asks for "Agent Bon Jovi" and says he's had some bodies turn up without hearts in Austin. "A friend of mine, Donna Hanscum, said you were the one to call." Oooh, are we sending him to Austin? Is Walker, Texas Ranger just going to be another fake name and fake badge? Now that's how you do a spinoff!

{Sidebar: Does Donna know about Dean? Did Sam tell anyone yet? Is the trying to get him out of the bunker and keep him busy? If so, wouldn't she have given the guy Sam's number, not Dean's other other phone? But maybe it's someone she talked to weeks ago. Discuss.}

Sam tells the caller he is on his way, and we see him with a packed bag, heading out of the bunker with Miracle. He turns to look one last time and then turns off all the lights. We haven't seen the bunker this dark since the day they found it. I don't think he's ever coming back. Goodbye, bunker. I know some people hated you, but I was not one of them. {Sidebar: Did he give the bunker key to anyone? Surely he wouldn't want all those resources to go to waste!}

So, I guess the episode title refers to Sam having (choosing?) to carry on after he loses his brother. THIS IS FINE.

Now we're back at Dean's pyre, and this time we drift up with the smoke. We catch up with Dean, outdoors, in a lovely setting with trees and birds. "Well, at least I made it to Heaven," he says. "Yep," someone answers. It's Bobby! Real Bobby, not AU Bobby! Dean's actually standing next to a building - a cabin, maybe - and Bobby is sitting on the porch.

What memory is this?

It ain't, ya idjit.

Yeah it is. Cause the last I heard, you, you were in in Heaven's lockup.

Was. Now I'm not. That kid of yours, before he went wherever, made some changes here. Busted my ass out. And then he, well, set some things right. Tore down all the walls. Heaven ain't just reliving your golden oldies any more. It's what it always should have been. Everyone happy, everyone together. Rufus lives about five miles that way. With Aretha. Thought she'd have better taste. And your mom and dad, they got a place over yonder. It ain't just Heaven, Dean. It's the Heaven you deserve. And we been waiting for you.

So Jack did all that.

Well, Cas helped. It's a big new world out there. You'll see.


So, I guess Cas made it out of the Empty? Dean smiles at that, but doesn't suggest finding him or anything. I approve. Bobby pulls out a couple of beers (the green cooler made it into Heaven!!!) and they share some bad beer. Dean comments that Heaven is "almost perfect," and Bobby knows EXACTLY what's missing, because of course he does. "He'll be along. Time up here, it's different. You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream. So I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?" Well, Dean doesn't have everything he could ever want or need, but he does see one thing - Baby. With her Kansas plates! Friends, that's two things I requested before the end that I didn't think I would ever see: a forehead touch, and Baby wearing her original plates. Thank you, Jack.

Dean's face lights up. "I think I'll go for a drive." As he walks to his car, we see the cabin is actually Harvelle's Roadhouse, albeit smaller, I think. Dean settles into his car and says "Hey, Baby" and when he turns her on, "Carry On Wayward Son" begins to play.







I know he looks good in Purgatory, but DAMN if he don't look fine in Heaven, too.

We cut to the name Dean, which is embroidered on - a little boy's overalls. Sam's little boy. Oh, wow. I was not prepared for this. Sam has a son named Dean, and we switch back and forth between Dean driving through Heaven and scenes of Sam's life with his son and his mysterious, barely-seen wife. She has long dark hair, and I'd like to point out that she could easily be either Eileen or Dr. Cara Roberts. Just saying. Sam's house is full of family photos, including the one of him and Dean from his memory box and a new one from the episode Lebanon. I never thought about the fact that they might have actually taken a photo, and if they did, would it still be around after Sam smashed the pearl? Well, obviously, yes. We see Sam throwing a ball with his son, helping him with his homework (Sam in glasses? Check!) and just obviously really loving this kid and giving him the childhood he never had. We also see a really, really unfortunate grey wig that I refuse to screencap. You're welcome. As aging Sam sits in the hundred-year-old car in his garage, his dead brother drives happy along dirt roads in Heaven, and I'd prefer my Heaven have paved roads, thanks.

We end in Sam's house, now complete with hospital bed. Sam could be in his 80s or even 90s, which means he could have lived another 50 years, more or less, after Dean died. His son doesn't look any older than his 20s or 30s (and also looks vaguely South Asian to me), and I wonder how old Sam was when he finally let himself have a family. Remember when Dean said his happy ending was for Sam to have kids and get old? Well, he got it, finally. Did Sam get a regular job? Did he keep hunting? We don't know. What we do know is that his son has a anti-possession tattoo. Some people have taken this to mean young Dean is a hunter, but I don't think we can jump to that conclusion. It could just be 1) Dean wanted a tattoo like his father's, or b) Sam knows there are still demons out there and that his son would naturally be a target, hunter or not.








All right, I had to screencap teary-eyed Sam grasping the steering wheel and reliving his years with his brother in this car, so we can just pretend we don't see The Wig, okay?

Sam's evidently in hospice care. Or maybe we'll all have hospital beds in our houses in 50 years. Who knows. His son sits on the bed and takes his hand. Sam smiles at him, and Dean says "Dad, it's okay. You can go now." PARALLELLS! As some woman sings "Carry On Wayward Son" for whatever reason (why didn't they use the lovely a cappella version they already had from Fan Fiction?), Sam places his hand on Dean's and takes his last breath.

{Sidebar: Where is Sam's wife in all of this? Divorced? Already dead? She doesn't seem to be in the family pictures, so I'm going with divorced. Discuss.}

Heaven. Oh, guys. I've done this rewatch without tearing up at all but I'm about to tip over. The Impala pulls onto a bridge. Dean gets out. (Now your life's no longer empty, surely Heaven waits for you.) He stands at the bridge railing, enjoying Heaven, smiling. And then he feels something and he smiles even more because he knows it's Sam. Oh god, Jensen did such a good job here. Just this fucking smile killed me dead. "Hey, Sammy," he says. He turns and there is Sam, wearing the same outfit he wore in 1.01 (they both are, but Sam's is a bigger departure from his later years). Why? I don't know. But I know it means Sam Winchester is spending eternity in something that isn't a plaid shirt. How do we feel about that?

"Dean," Sam says. They face each other and smile, and it's the smile of we just survived a hunt I didn't think we'd survive or our son just overpowered God or something along those lines. Then they embrace, and I love the way Sam hesitates just a little before clapping a hand on Dean's back. Like he's afraid it isn't really happening, and he doesn't want to break the illusion. I also love that Dean, as always, takes the top (oh, get your minds out of the gutter) and hugs as if he were taller than Sam. Then Dean puts his hand on the back of Sam's neck and turns him to admire the view and he has this joyous smile like now, this is FINALLY Heaven. And he gazes at Sam like look, Sammy, look what we did. Look what we get. The lack of dialog in this scene is just ~chef's kiss~. The camera goes wide and we see the three main characters, Sam and Dean and Baby, enjoying the Heaven they deserve.














I would like to know where they filmed this, because it's gorgeous even without the Winchesters.

Did Sam's entire life go by in the span of Dean's drive? Or did Dean just decide he'd drive until his brother arrived, no matter how long it took? And how much do I love the fact that he could have gone and visited his parents but instead he said "nah, I'll drive around and wait for Sam?" SO MUCH, PEOPLE. SO MUCH.

Also, can we talk about the fact that Sam didn't know what to expect in Heaven? I mean, Ash said they were soulmates and would share a Heaven, but why would he believe that? And he might have even still believed he'd have a hard time getting into Heaven. What a relief it must have been to show up on Dean's bridge.

And then Jared and Jensen thank us. You're welcome, boys. Thank you.

So. Last night I was mildly positive about the episode. But on rewatch, I'm extremely positive. Sure, I would have loved the Six Feet Under ending where we see everyone's fate. And maybe that would have happened if not for Covid. But I'm just relieved we didn't get the Game of Thrones or How I Met Your Mother endings. I'm not sure this current cohort could have done better, honestly. Sam wanted a normal family life. Dean wanted Sam to have a normal family life. But Sam was never going to stop hunting as long as Dean was hunting. And Dean wasn't going to stop hunting as long as he was alive. Dean got the end he wanted/expected and the Heaven he earned (and Sam caring for Jack was directly responsible for Heaven's improvements). Sam got to live a normal life and have a family. As I said earlier, I suspect his marriage didn't last. (Or maybe he and Eileen or Cara got married for insurance purposes, and happily co-parented little Dean, but knew they weren't each other's one true love.) But I actually prefer that. Dean loved Sam more than he loved anyone. Sam loved Dean the same way. I'm glad Sam got to have a child (who he loves as much as his brother, but in a different way), but I don't want Sam and Dean to share their Heaven with Sam's wife.

Now, would I have done Dean's death differently? Yes. I did appreciate that they had him upright, so the brothers were face to face, just like AHBL. But being impaled on a spike was just less dramatic that I would have liked. I would have preferred that Sam immediately see his brother was dying, instead of Dean having to explain it to him. Dean could have had his jugular torn, slowly bleeding out, and still been on his knees (held up by Sam, hell yes) making his deathbed speech. And then I wouldn't have thought "would an ambulance be here by now if you'd called them?" halfway through it.

{Sidebar: What if Sam had fed Dean some blood from one of the dead vamps. Wouldn't that have kept him undead long enough to get fixed up, and then they could have done the vampire cure? Discuss.}

I know some people are very unhappy about the finale. Honestly, from what I can tell, most of those people are hard-core Destiel shippers. And I guess they wanted, as they always do, for the Dean and Castiel relationship to be more important than the Dean and Sam relationship. Sorry, guys, that was never gonna happen. In the end, it came down to the epic love story of Sam and Dean, just as it should have.

So, I'm sad and I'm happy. I'm bereft and I'm full. I miss my boys, but my boys will always be with me. I hope you guys will be with me for a long time, too.

Next up... 1.01! I don't know when I'll start my rewatch recaps, but I hope some of you will stay tuned. And if not, thanks for being here. Thanks for reading, thanks for lurking, thanks for liking, thanks for commenting. I love you all so much.

Post all the fucking spoilers you want in the comments.
Tags: 15.20 carry on, i am not okay, initial reaction, pretty, season 15, supernatural
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I am so relieved you liked it as much as I did! (My dearest SPN friend hated how Dean died and I feel so sad about that because I thought Dean going out on an ordinary hunt after everything was right.)

The only thing that makes me really, really sad is that now that both boys are in heaven, how can there be a movie in a year or two? I don't want Jack pulling them out of heaven because that negates his declared (and appropriate) hands off policy.

Thank you for all the reviews you've done. They have been something I have really looked forward to each week. And I will be looking forward to when you start your rewatch.
Well, I decided there were a couple of years of happy domestic Winchesters between 15.19 and 15.20. So anything could happen during those years.

And thank you for being here!
> This might be the last time I ever get to calculate driving time.

And you get a big. Caranfindel-Fan point for including it. Your last re-cap would have been woefully incomplete without it.

> {Sidebar: At some point during this fight, I realized they hadn't played "Carry On Wayward Son" at the beginning. And that we got a regular montage, not a seasone finale extended montage.}

It's weird! That was the exact moment I thought about it too. Maybe we were too busy counting fan-service points up til then.

> the fucking FOREHEAD TOUCH,

I totally thought of you when that happened. For me, that could only be topped by a Frodo forehead kiss but, come on, this is the Winchesters. I'll so take the forehead bump.

> {Sidebar: Has Sam ever had a dog when he wasn't at a low point in his already-low life? Discuss.}

Nope. Sam's only ever had a dog when he didn't have Dean.

> Sam's life with his son and his mysterious, barely-seen wife. She has long dark hair, and I'd like to point out that she could easily be either Eileen or Dr. Cara Roberts.

I think they did that deliberately because they knew fandom was divided about Eileen, so those who wanted him with her could imagine it was her, and those that didn't wouldn't. And I'm so pleased she can be Cara Roberts for you. You rock that head canon girl!

> {Sidebar: Where is Sam's wife in all of this? Divorced? Already dead? She doesn't seem to be in the family pictures, so I'm going with divorced. Discuss.}

Anniespinkhouse wrote a sad but beautiful answer to that. Here's the link if you'd like to read it: https://anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com/110969.html

> Did Sam's entire life go by in the span of Dean's drive?

Yes, because this is the heaven he deserves, and time works differently here, so he doesn't have to wait longer than a span of a montage for Sam's return.

> Why? I don't know. But I know it means Sam Winchester is spending eternity in something that isn't a plaid shirt. How do we feel about that?

I don't know that there's any rule they can't change their clothes in heaven. Dean just needed him to come back as 'Sammy', so he did.

> {Sidebar: What if Sam had fed Dean some blood from one of the dead vamps. Wouldn't that have kept him undead long enough to get fixed up, and then they could have done the vampire cure? Discuss.}

Yes, but you're way clever than the writers, and ssh.

I think this was the best of all possible endings we could have expected to get from this team, and way better than I expected or ever dared hope for. I'll take it.

>
Next up... 1.01! I don't know when I'll start my rewatch recaps, but I hope some of you will stay tuned.

YAYYYYYY!!!! *waves soccer rattle* You know I'll be there for that!


> Post all the fucking spoilers you want in the comments.

LOL! Perfect recap ending is also perfect.:D :D :D ♥♥♥





It just boggles my mind that people think about *me* occasionally when they watch this show. I love you all so much. And thanks for that fic rec, it was awesome.

septembers_coda

2 months ago

caranfindel

2 months ago

fanspired

1 month ago

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Nice
:)
This was beautiful, sweetie, even if you have me crying. Again.

*hugs*
Thank you! <333
{Sidebar: Where is Sam's wife in all of this? Divorced? Already dead? She doesn't seem to be in the family pictures, so I'm going with divorced. Discuss.}

I would like to conclude that her entire lack of importance in Sam's life is because they divorced early on and he kept their kid. But. I looked closely and Sam is still wearing his wedding ring on his deathbed. Would you keep wearing that if you'd divorced? I don't think so. I also saw some people suggesting that he was a solo Dad, raising a kid that he'd adopted (maybe from a hunt?) and that the woman was a nanny of some sort...which would work for me, but...wedding ring?

anniespinkhouse's drabble works for me, though. Thanks for the link fanspired.

Thank you for the review. I watched last night my time and have been periodically tearing up ever since. 😥
Yeah, that wedding ring conflicts with a lot of great theories.
I liked the finale. It's definitive and all the characters got peace. The crew waving at the end and Bob Singer yelling cut was the perfect fan service for me. This is probably the only show where the fans know the behind the camera staff. It was incredibly sweet.
One last poll for the road?

To anyone who is annoyed Dean died from an accident: it was pointed out by another fan that they no longer have plot armor since Chuck isn't writing their story. So Sam and Dean are just normal people. In the real world, people die from accidents and other mundane things. So I liked that he died that way.

I also like how the episode showed the heroism of carrying on. I've never suffered an unexpected loss, but I know two people who lost their children in accidents and it takes a great strength to continue living your life and do good and be happy.

Some fans have complained that the episode glorifies death, but I disagree. Sam does not at any point consider suicide, and Dean even says "Always Keep Fighting".

Final bit of thought: there's no revival, sequel, or re-boot. The show definitively ends, and that's exactly how it should be. I feel content that they wrote it that way.
I know some people are complaining that Dean died because of "a nail," and damn, that wasn't a nail. That was a big ass SPIKE. And I don't see it glorifying death at all. Living, like you said, was the heroic thing. But I have to accept that some fans of this show have a COMPLETELY different mindset from me.
I loved all of this. The last stages of the hero's journey are being the master of two worlds and living free, and as a hunter with a family, I feel like Sam got both, while Dean - who has been more and more depressed, worn down and exhausted season-by-season, got peace and retirement. I wish there had been more folks that he missed to greet him in Heaven (Charlie, for example, since he took her death so hard, or Benny since hopefully new god Jack will fix the way Purgatory works, too). We were speculating in one server that the kid was the result of a one-night stand by Sam (or Dean) and the mom showed up and dumped the kid off with him, and that was the nanny or equivalent, since she's in no other pictures anywhere else. I liked that Sam could represent the end of the unhealthy Winchester death cycle, grieving but not letting it cripple him or keep him from living, and that whether his son is a hunter or not, it's a healthy relationship full of love, and he was there for his son the whole time. And I was okay with the cover of Carry On because we all know that Sam liked his indie music over Dean's classic rock, so Dean gets Kansas and Sam gets the Evanescence-y version.

I do feel like Castiel fans got the shaft, and that's purely on the heads of episode 18. If Cas had gone out any other way - say. protecting Jack from Billie because he believed in his son and choosing that the happiest moment of his life would be giving it up to protect his child - people wouldn't have felt so betrayed by not seeing him at all in the final episode, and it would have been a much more worthy goodbye. I'm glad he ended up with Jack, because that's a great arc for him - the angel who rebelled against Heaven helping bring about a new God and a better Heaven on behalf of humanity is a pretty much perfect end.

Who knew they'd give us such a great last episode though? Not me! I was dreading it.
I was SO sure they'd fuck it up. Maybe having low expectations was a good thing. And I love the idea of the woman being a nanny, but Sam was wearing a wedding ring. Though I suppose it didn't *have* to be a wedding ring...
Post all the fucking spoilers you want in the comments
THIS... this made me laugh when I've been crying for pretty much three hours (well, I would have been if my dear friend hadn't distracted me off the legde long enough so I could go out and buy groceries without scaring the locals, so I don't starve next week) and that was exactly what I needed.

I noticed that the carry on montage was missing right at the start, so I knew we were going to have to face the waterworks, but I WAS NOT READY. I thought your exact same thoughts from all the fanservice points (holy canoli shirtless Sam - and can I say how much I appreciate that they didn't litter this last episode with call-back cameos but with call-back shots and props and stuff? It's like the production crew got to say farewell to their favourite things, same as us) to the fact that I was wondering why they weren't just riddling those vamps with Dead Man's Blood bullets and then thought... Ohhhhhh.
(I do have some ideas why no guns, but I'm not going to flesh them out cause it is what it is)

I could not reread the deathbed(stand?) scene, I just couldn't take it, but damn that was one of the finest pieces of acting those boys ever did on the show and I actually loved how undramatic and yet undeniably finite it was. And it brought home to us the fact that, that's what it's about, Sam and Dean and the different things they wanted for themselves and each other in life that they got to have this way, even though it hurt like a son of a bitch and kept them apart for some time.
This exceeded my expectations majorly, yo and I'm so glad to be pleasantly surprised.

I wasn't sure about baby!Dean at first, but through the montage, the way they played, I got to be alright with that (and I know in my heart of hearts, that was Genevieve standing there in the background, not as herself or Ruby or anything like that, just as the literal person standing there, standing in for all the women who could potentially have been Sam's wife, familiarity without concrete identity. Also, how old is Thomas now?) and I think anniespinkmouse did a very fine job on the headcanon for that one.
I also think Lil'Dean is not necessarily a hunter, but I think he's involved in the supernatural world in some way. I life the notion that Sam taught him to handle himself with all kinds of critters and guns and such, but that he's stayed on the research side of things (like Sam probably did too), manning all the phones and being a hunter switchboard. Like, he's not carrying the legacy of his namesake with weight, but pride. Sam strikes me as the kinda Dad who'd make sure of that.
(Also, WHAT WAS HAPPENING WITH THAT WIG? I CAN'T EVEN. But the hospice make-up was much better so I guess I can take it.)

And the very end. Holy hell. Yes. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.
(Also, who else thinks the just shot a however-many-hour-b-roll of Jensen personally driving down the Impala from Vancouver all the way to Austin where it will now live forever in his tender care? Just me? Ok then)

I will look forward to your restart reviews with glee. I think I can actually start rewatching the show with you, yo. That would be a good use of my life. *happy sigh*
I do wonder how different it would have been without Covid, if we would have had a parade of time-wasting guest stars. In the special before the episode, someone (Singer?) mentioned closure for all of those other characters, like Garth, and I was like, really? WHO. THE. FUCK. CARES. So maybe we do have Covid to thank for the brother-centric end. Silver lining, I guess.

Love the idea of MoL little Dean, carrying on the family legacy.

mangacat201

2 months ago

I am so, so, SO very okay with how this show ended. I'd rather stare at The Wig than ever even think about Cas' confession. That confession was the best example of everything wrong with recent Show, and this episode said they understood what we needed and why, that they understood what makes this show and this fandom *work*.

I managed to barely keep it together until "Brothers in Arms" starting to play, and then the tears literally never stopped. Just sobbing my little heart out. My cat had to check on me multiple times.
(Accidentally hit enter too soon, continuing here):

Yeah, that smile of Dean's at the end, that was...yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about Sam in a hoodie instead of a flannel, beyond wondering if they had to shop for matching clothes or if Jared still fit in his old wardrobe, but I also imagine he can wear one of Dean's if he really needs to.

I somehow totally missed that was the Roadhouse! I think I glanced down at just the wrong second, maybe?

I'm choosing to believe that it was Dr. Cara Roberts, not because I have anything against Eileen (though I'm a little meh about her character), but because I think Eileen would have been too close, and Cara's safer. Sam feels like the kind of guy who would cling to that emotional loneliness, rather than risk someone trying to force him to have those conversations about Dean. Eileen would justifiably want a real relationship with Sam.

I'm not watching it again yet, but when I do, I know I'll be just as contented with this ending. It's not the song I would have written, but the music they made said all the same things I needed to say. You can't make everyone happy--or really, anyone perfectly happy--with any ending ever, especially not when it's this many people in this divided a fandom, but you can give them a soft landing, and this did exactly that. I'm totally okay with how this went.
I'm choosing to believe that it was Dr. Cara Roberts, not because I have anything against Eileen (though I'm a little meh about her character), but because I think Eileen would have been too close, and Cara's safer. Sam feels like the kind of guy who would cling to that emotional loneliness, rather than risk someone trying to force him to have those conversations about Dean. Eileen would justifiably want a real relationship with Sam.

I like your reasoning.

I'm not watching it again yet, but when I do, I know I'll be just as contented with this ending. It's not the song I would have written, but the music they made said all the same things I needed to say. You can't make everyone happy--or really, anyone perfectly happy--with any ending ever, especially not when it's this many people in this divided a fandom, but you can give them a soft landing, and this did exactly that. I'm totally okay with how this went.

It's not the ending I thought I wanted, but it turned out to be the right ending, I think.

amberdreams

November 21 2020, 15:32:50 UTC 2 months ago Edited:  November 21 2020, 15:36:50 UTC

I'm with you all the way on this one - and I'm still tearing up thinking about th death scene and the reunion. I could have done without the Sam and son!Dean sequence but in spite of the terrible wig and weird sitting in the car bit, it was an interlude that was a breather from the heavier emotions, so I'll give them that.

As to the wife, I read anniespinkhouse drabble and could buy that, or that this was Dean's dream about Sam's ideal life, or that it was Sam actually meeting someone how gave him love and a son - but honestly, I don't really care because the important part was to see Sam grieve but live, while never forgetting the missing other half of his soul.

It was so much better than I'd feared, and I know the parallels were kind of obvious but they were good, and I loved them.

Thanks for all your recaps! I'm happy you're starting from Season 1 - I'm feeling a rewatch coming on.

We will relive it all together! Thank you, friend.
Thank you for all the reviews you've done - i've looked forward to them. :)

I was very happy with the ending - it could have been so much worse, but thankfully they gave us an ending most of us are happy to live with. Cas is with his son, Jack, doing angel things, and I don't see how that can be bad - it's what he's meant to do, what he is, and he certainly would have been happy to be with his son. As far as Sam's wife - I suspect she's a hunter as well, and probably died during a hunt, after which he stopped actively hunting to raise the child. I think it would have been impossible for him to relate to anyone but another hunter at this point, and once she was gone, can easily see him not getting married again.

Anyhow, great episode, and I hope there are no more movies or reboots.
Thank you! Nice headcanon about Sam's wife; I like it!

anniespinkhouse

November 21 2020, 17:28:01 UTC 2 months ago Edited:  November 21 2020, 17:29:14 UTC

This is a great review - so many of my own thoughts. I need points for psycho Sam though - that is definitely on my fanservice laundry list. As well as the lingering, sexy shots of Baby in Heaven.

It is absolutely my head canon that Sam's son gave him purpose and joy and is a Men of Letters (not so much a hunter) because Sam had so much to give. Yes, he grieved forever, but there were reasons to go on. A heart stab that Dean never got to play with his nephew but when has Supernatural ever given us sweet without the bitter, and I love them for it.

Oh, this is longer than I intended. Much love for this.

I liked the random accidental death and the fact that Dean had agency to choose to go this time. Dean would have continued to put himself in danger to save people for the rest of his life, even if the hunts dried up. It was who he was and that job application? Maybe a firefighter or cop? The fact that Donna rang while he was next to it, may be our hint.

I felt the normality of his death, the mundaness of it, fit with the theme that they were no longer puppets to be revived at will. In the circumstances, I think Sam too, understood that. It reminded me of the taser incident in 'Faith' and the repercussions of Dean being brought back that time.

Time - that wibbly wobbly ball of contention? I choose to see an established domestic pattern at the beginning, settled boys, reduced hunts - this was quite some time after Chuck was defeated.

And Sam telling friends? No, Donna didn't know. If he didn't tell them, then he could remain, in Dean's watch, wrapped in the scent of his hoodie, in that little bubble of denial. After leaving the bunker for that hunt, after the actual hunt, that is when I believe he told Donna, and Donna told everyone else.

Time - that wibbly wobbly ball of contention? I choose to see an established domestic pattern at the beginning, settled boys, reduced hunts - this was quite some time after Chuck was defeated.

EXACTLY!

And Sam telling friends? No, Donna didn't know. If he didn't tell them, then he could remain, in Dean's watch, wrapped in the scent of his hoodie, in that little bubble of denial.

THIS IS NOT OKAY. HOW DARE YOU DO THIS IN MY COMMENTS.

So, do you think that was Dean's hoodie? Someone suggested that to me on Tumblr too.

anniespinkhouse

2 months ago

caranfindel

2 months ago

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