Oh no. A debate. And I'm watching on the app so I can't skip it. Oh, the horror.
Doesn't seem like Cordell would be tasked with driving either of these candidates. Don't they have someone who has a connection to neither of them?
Trey's mom is such a contrast to Micki's mom. That's going to be an interesting wedding reception.
If Trey’s mom isn't staying with them, why didn't she leave her suitcase in the car? (Oh, maybe she took a cab.)
Richard Speight! \o/ Can we thank him for the pretty tonight?
This seems like a Significant Moment when Micki gets her gun out of that chest. (Spoiler alert: it's not.)
Whew! Thank goodness for the bomb threat. I almost had to sit through the debate.
I think the most important thing in this episode is going to be Jared's curls peeking out under his cowboy hat. It must have been awfully humid in Austin that week.
I mean. Come on.
Cow! (Too obscure?)
Wolverines! (Too obscure?)
Remember what I said about not needing bad Photoshopped photos?
Why did they use pictures of Jared as a 30-year-old? I know there are teen photos out there.
Ah, we've answered the question of what time of year this is supposed to be. Thank you, Walker.
That's two mentions of Rebecca Ferguson. Foreshadowing or red herring?
You know, The Kid's high school doesn't give out yearbooks at the end of the school year any more. You have to come back and get it in the spring. I don't like it.
Is this chick Ruby, or was the other chick Ruby? Anyway, she is up to no good. Parents out of town indeed!
Some of this music sounds just like the music they made fun of on Supernatural. Like, the Dr. Sexy MD music.
Why doesn't Micki just kick Travis's gun away. (Was Stella's thug boyfriend named Travis? I can't ever remember.) Also, this Travis reminds me of Ash.
So, what's the difference between police and Rangers? Are rangers like sheriffs and deputies, or state highway patrol, or what?
Hmmm, Geri really started paying attention when Cordell said he was going to talk to the guy who falsely confessed to killing his wife. Almost like she has a vested interest in this or something.
This Ruby chick is really up to no good.
Why is this reporter being dumped at the Walker ranch?
Oooh, Stan is the bad guy! Despite his white hat! Don't hit the reporter, Stan! It's pretty much guaranteed to get you bad press! Oh no. Oh no no no. Right before the election, accidentally killing a reporter? Bad look, friend. I guess it's pretty convenient that the reporter didn't drive himself, though, because there would be a car to get rid of.
Well, I thought this deathbed confession was going to involve Geri, not Stan!
But seriously, these curls.
Stan washing his hands. Out, out, damned spot! I hope you thought to delete that reporter's recording.
Oh, you saw Grandpa taking a pill? Look, Stan, old people take pills. It could have been ibuprofen for all you know.
Enough with Becca Ferguson already!
Shouldn't these guys be doing some last-minute electioneering? Pressing the flesh?
Anyway. I’ve been a little snarky about most of this episode, but then we get to this last bit. And friends, it gently caresses my buttons and whispers sweet nothings into their ear and then pushes them. Hard.
First, is Stan literally going to try to kill Cordell on the road? And claim it was an accident? Oh, no, wait, that ain't Stan.
This rollover seen from the inside is actually pretty good, especially since it ends with hurt Jared. Thank you, Richard Speight. You know how to make our boy look good.
Hello my name is caranfindel and I have a problem.
Karli is right, Stella, your dad is fucking hot!
Now he’s being forced to dig a hole. Are they going to bury him with the reporter? How long would it take one man to dig this hole? Have y'all not heard of a shallow grave? (I know, everything's bigger in Texas.)
You know, if anyone ever held a gun to my head and made me dig my own grave, I'd just lie down and say "shoot me now." But Cordell is obviously the kind of guy who’s going to stay alive and come up with a way out of this.
Then Cordell does this amazing thing where, when the guy holding the gun is distracted, he hits him with the shovel, grabs his gun, shoots the other guy, and then grabs the first guy, pulls him close, and shoots him point blank. It's glorious. Unfortunately, it's impossible to get a cap, and I can't find gifs on Tumblr.
I tried, though.
He's also fucking hot holding a gun on his former buddy. And luckily our friend kazluvsbooks, aka jaredwalkertexasranger on Tumblr, did capture this in gif form.
Is this the first time we’ve seen Cordell kill anybody? I didn’t watch the first few eps so I could have missed it.
And what do we think he is going to do with Stan once he gets him in the car? Drive him off to an even more secluded location and put a bullet in his brain? Nah. If he was going to do that, he could have done it right here at this convenient hole. I think he's taking him in, no matter what he said.
Also, Geri is still involved, right?